Intimacy and Partnership - Family Constellations
2 day therapy group with Rumen Yankulov
In working with several thousand family systems, renowned German psycho- therapist Bert Hellinger discovered age-old, hidden "Orders of Love" that operate in the depths of family organisms. Violation and disrespect of these natural laws due to tragic circumstances and unconscious behaviour in the generations that came before affect the lives of later members of the family.
Workshop participants are frequently amazed and deeply touched when the hidden love connections and entanglements within their systems are revealed. For instance, could we ever imagine that unhappiness or health problems could be connected to a stillborn child of our grandmother? Or that difficulties with a current partner could be related to an abortion 15 years ago, or even to the former partner of one's mother? That the severe illness of a child might be caused by an adoption?
Hidden entanglements of this kind are found behind most personal and even professional issues. Restoring balance and harmony to the family system will be equally effective for physical illness - from lower back pain to cancer - as it is for emotional and mental suffering.
The Family Constellation is the main technique for revealing the hidden dynamics in a family so they can be worked with and healed.
This work is designed for individuals and couples interested in solving serious issues, relieving suffering and finding a solid foundation for new direction in their lives, as well as therapists, psychiatrists, nurses, social workers, physicians and other health care professionals interested in enriching their practice with highly effective tools and new insights about disease, individual issues and human behaviour.
This work enables participants to:
- Resolve misunderstandings, entanglements and blocks in family-, partner- and other relationships;
- Break cycles of suffering, alienation, abuse and dysfunction in the family;
- Address parenting problems and painful family situations (i.e. divorce, single parenthood, miscarriage, infertility, abortion, adoption/custody);
- Deal positively with severe illness and death
- Uncover reasons for physical and emotional suffering and take steps towards healing (i.e. migraine, asthma, eating disorders, chronic backache, depression, anxieties and phobias, suicidal tendencies, drug and alcohol abuse)
- Understand the “bigger picture” of any life situation
- Find a solid foundation for a new direction in life
Who are those included in the family consciousness?
A circumscribed number of persons belong to the family consciousness:
1. the children, including stillborn children and those who have died early
2. the parents and their siblings
3. the grandparents
4. sometimes one of the great-grandparents and, at times, ancestors even further back.
And, very strangely, people who are not relatives belong to the family consciousness too:
5. everybody - and this is most important - who made room to the advantage of the above members, belongs to the family consciousness. This includes, in particular, former partners of parents or grandparents, as well as all those whose misfortune or death brought the family an advantage or gain.
6. victims of violence and murder by any members of the family.
What laws govern the behavior of those who belong to the family soul?
The family members behave as if they all share a common soul, or a common conscience, and as if they are all subject to a common higher authority. It even appears that this authority follows certain laws and demands.
The Greater Love
The first phenomenon we see here is, that the members of a family are bound together by this greater soul, or common family soul. This is true even to the extent that a child, whose mother or father dies early, feels a longing to follow them into death. Even parents or grandparents occasionally want to follow their child or grandchild into death, and we can observe this dynamic between partners as well. If one dies, often the other one loses the desire to live.
Balance and Compensation
The second phenomenon we notice, is that there is an urge to balance gains and losses across generations. That means that someone who has profited at someone else’s expense will pay for it with an equivalent loss to compensate. If those who benefited were also the perpetrators, their descendants are often the ones who end up paying. The family soul uses them in place of their ancestors, frequently without anybody being aware of it. And if somebody was guilty in a former generation, but he did not face his guilt then somebody from a later generation will take up the atonement for that guilt. So for instance he will kill himself. We'll see that with the Nazi murderers for instance. And many descendants two or three generations later have a tendency to be suicidal, they want to redress that.
The Order of Precedence
In other words, the family soul favours those who came earlier over those who came later. This represents a third movement, or natural order of the family soul. Someone who is born later is prepared to die for someone who came earlier in the system, sacrificing his own life in an attempt to prevent the death of another family member. Or, the later family member may be atoning for the unresolved guilt of someone who came earlier. A daughter may represent her father’s former wife, and behave towards him more like a partner than like his child. In such a case, she becomes her mother’s rival. If the father’s former partner had been wronged, the daughter may take over the feelings of that woman towards the two parents.
The fourth order of the family soul attends to the integrity of the family and demands that every family member have the right to belong. Later family members represent earlier members who have been excluded or forgotten, thereby honouring their right to belong, and restoring them to the family by making a place for them. Whenever one member is excluded or forgotten, then this kind of conscience or soul picks somebody from a later generation to regress the former person. And this person then acts out the life of the former one.
2019 May 18: 14:30-20:00 h.
2019 May 19: 9:30-19:30 h.
Max number of participants - 24
+359 87 8488979